Dez Bryant on Short Leash

Have you seen the new restrictions for Dez Bryant?

A midnight curfew. If he’s going to miss curfew, team officials must know in advance;

• No drinking alcohol.

• He can’t attend any strip clubs and can only attend nightclubs if they are approved by the team and he has a security team with him.

• He must attend counseling sessions twice a week.

• A rotating three-man security team will leave one man with Bryant at all times.

• Members of the security team will drive Bryant to practices, games and team functions

WOW I know of preschoolers with fewer restrictions than these.

Here is what Coach Jason Garrett said about them and I will provide an interpretation for you after:

The balance with all players is you want to support them and you want to help them, but you also want to hold them accountable,” Garrett said. “We feel like we do that, really, throughout our organization with all our guys. We believe in player development. We believe in helping them as football players on the field and as people off the field, and so what we’ve tried to do is come up with a plan for Dez, like we would with any player who we feel needs our support, and help him be his best as a player and as a person. And the accountability factor is an important part of that with him and with anybody on our football team.”

MY INTERPRETATION: Look, Dez is a true baller on the field and we are going to need him to win some games this year. He can’t help us win if he is locked up in jail, or out on some kind of suspension from that hard a** NFL Commish with something to prove.  Our plan is to watch this “cray cray” fool 24-7 and make sure he stays out of trouble until our season ends anyway. It’s not like we can easily replace him on the field so he has got to stay eligible to help this team win some games. We are only doin’ all this for his own good don’t ya see?

Seems like we tried all this mess with Pac Man and he got in a fight with his security guards!


2 thoughts on “Dez Bryant on Short Leash

  1. I think your “interpretaion” on Garrett’s politically-correct speech is…well, correct. Because of the Cowboys’ investment in Dez (#1 draft pick, huge contract) and his irreplacable talent, they are doing whatever it takes to keep him focused on football–even as ridiculous as this is!

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